Decision made....I think :)

I have made the decision to go part-time! One would think I should be excited about this decision, but it has been a painful decision to make. I love my career (being a nurse that is). I knew I would never be a stay at home mom, my career defines a huge part of who I am. I like to think I am damn good at my job too, so it is hard to put it on the back burner. Not to mention, we are not exactly in the perfect financial spot to significantly reduce our income.

But, our current situation is not working. I don't sleep for 36 hrs a couple of times a week, which makes for a very exhausted,impatient, and frazzled mom and wife. I refuse to work more just for the purpose of paying for daycare. Which leaves us with this option, I am going to start working two twelve hour shifts on Fri and Sat nights, this will allow me to manage both kids during the week and maintain some semblance of a schedule. I will then work while Lamont is off so that I can actually sleep.

I know that this decision will be so worth it in the end, and I know that I will have plenty of time to advance my career when she is a little older. I guess a big part of me is scared, like starting a new job with very little experience. Yes, I have been a mom for 11 yrs but it was my part-time job and Ill be honest not always what I have been the best at. Please don't take this the wrong way, I love my kids but they don't define me and I think that is okay.

So, like everything else I am determined to excel at this new adventure. I am competitive and a perfectionist, but the test of my success will come many years from now when my children are, (hopefully) successful, happy, well adjusted people.